Mom, maybe you ought to learn to play the quiet game.....

Our home is loud. Our dogs bark if the wind blows, if someone rings a doorbell on TV, or if I sneeze. Not to mention Jake lacks both any sense of volume control OR off switch. Every room you walk into there is either a television playing, someone on some sort of electronic device that beeps, chimes, rings or talks to you AND our neighbors are less than silent.

Earlier this week I was off of work for the day and I got to put Jake on the bus. I went in to wake him up for school and my allergies were getting the better of me so I had a fierce attack of the sneezes. It begs to be told that I am NOT a dainty gal....and when I sneeze,  shit gets real. My sneezing startled my dear sleeping angelic boy from his golden slumber. He jumped up and put his fingers in his ears.

Now, this is not an uncommon thing for him to do as sound is a very big issue for him - when it comes from a source that is not HIS OWN MOUTH. He will often be seen at a family party, in the lunch room at school, or on the school bus with his fingers in his ears or his head tilted and lowered onto his arched shoulder to muffle the surrounding noise. Sound sensitivity is just a part of being Autistic.

Jake on the school bus en route to his field trip 

So, when I sneezed and he jumped, I laughed. Why you ask? Well, because the look on a persons face when they are startled is a riot AND because I am much like a 12 year old myself. 

I started helping him get ready for school and he started with the barrage of endless questions to my every command....."what happens if I don't brush my teeth, will my teeth fall out and I will look like I am homeless", "Are you SURE that it is illegal to pull down my pants in school", "How come daddy can watch movies with course language", "How much older do I have to be before I can kiss girls on the mouth" This went on and on for no less than 35 minutes while we finished getting him ready and were waiting outside for the bus. While we were sitting there on the porch he started to yawn over and over again. Finally after the 5th time I said "Jake, you are so tired because you fight me every night on going to sleep and you get up in the middle of the night and make pancakes" (the frozen kind people....it's not like he whips up a batter and stands by the stove so relax).

He stared at me and in a very deadpanned tone said "Um, NO MOTHER, I am so tired because I was in the middle of a very good dream about girls and Jack Black and YOU woke me up by sneezing so loud. You always tell me I should learn to play the quiet game but Mom, maybe YOU ought to learn to play it first".