Thursday, April 19, 2012

I guess I should be ashamed, but he's so freakin funny sometimes.....

"Hey there my sexy people" is not what most people would expect to hear coming from the lips of an 11 year old autistic child as he walks into his psychologists waiting room prior to his therapy appointment....but then when dealing with Jake, nothing is ever as it is expected.

Jake has swag. Jake has charm. Jake has charisma. Jake is a pain in the ass. 




  Jacob has mastered the art of inadvertently causing me embarrassment in very public forums. NOT because of his Autism or his ADHD - although there was the time in the grocery store where he dropped a jar of pickles and then ran off like his ass was on fire and hid from his older sister Teressa and I inside the rack of grocery carts.... but that is a story for another day.  No no, the embarrassment he causes me is a result of way too many people telling his he is cute.

Look, I get it HE IS CUTE....but he also knows it.

When he knows I am upset with him he will gaze lovingly into my eyes and proclaim in a very breathy voice "I love you mommy, look at me lovin' on you" while kissing my hand. He plays the game with anyone that has a vagina. My female friends and family members fall under his spell. His sister and I however are IMMUNE. We are not drinking his damn kool-aid! 

He has been known to request his former Occupational Therapists to remove their pony tail so that he can play with their hair. He has asked many a female senior citizen out for Dairy Queen - and told them that THEY will need to pay for him. At a baseball game once he left with raffle tickets and a $20 bill from one of his female "fans". He has convinced himself that his brother and his former girlfriend broke up because she liked him better and he plans to find his way to California to marry Miranda Cosgrove (from ICarly). Most recently during a routine trip to the dentist for a tooth cleaning he pulled out all the stops and invited the dental hygienist to McDonalds. His exact words? "Hey, my mom is taking me to McDonalds when we leave here if I do a good job, how about you come with me"? Look out Donald Draper.....

There is, simply put, NO SHAME IN HIS GAME.



    

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