Everything is washed mom and I did it all by myself.

This morning captain hurricane barreled up the stairs and jumped in our bed. Loudly he exclaimed, “Mom, is it time for you to get up now”? I partially opened one eye and checked the clock. Just as I had suspected, it was only 4:47am. “NOPE” I whispered.

This went on for another hour or so.  Every time there would be a lull in his movement (he crawled into our bed and began rocking back and forth which is a form of stimming he uses when he wants to calm himself down) I would think to myself “ahhhh, he fell back to sleep” only to be reminded a mere 45 seconds later that he was still wide awake and rocking. Oh and now he’s singing. Excellent. The dogs are barking? Of course they are. Husband is snoring and oblivious? Yes indeed!

Finally he jumps up and says “Mom, I’m a big boy, I can get all ready by myself, I will be right back”. I lie there listening to the familiar sounds of assorted daily grooming. My mind is already racing. I hope he remembers to change his underwear, he better brush ALL of his teeth and not just the front ones. I had to stop myself several times from busting in the bathroom and doing it for him as I have so many times in an effort to save time….and my sanity. I always want him to look his very best, he is a reflection of his father and I after all. If he goes to school with a crusty face or jacked up breath it is US that will look bad, not him. I am not having him be the gross unkempt kid in school. Dude’s got enough going against him, ya feel me?

 I laid there forcing myself to “let him be”. By my estimation, he did spend the right amount of time in the bathroom to have properly taken care of the goal. He came back in to my room and stood next to my bed.

“Mom, I am all dressed. I did it all by myself and everything is on right. Even my shirt is not backwards! I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and washed my face. Everything is washed mom and I did it all by myself”.

I smiled, hugged him so tight and laughed while repeating his words “everything is washed mom”. I felt proud in that moment. 7:00 am and I was exhausted and already overwhelmed but I was PROUD. Yes, he is going to be 14 this Saturday and yes, I know that dressing and grooming ones self is something that 5 year old's should be able to do with ease. 

We are not talking about 5 year old's here. We are talking about my sweet boy who Autism, ADHD & OCD cannot stop and who once again has proven to me that if I give him a little room to spread his wings - he will soar.

  

Autism and Vanity

My youngest son is beautiful. He is captivating and handsome and has dimples to die for and you can get lost in his eyes.

 My youngest son is also totally awkward looking. I joke a lot about Jake's physical traits from his adorable snaggle fangs in the front of his mouth, his low hairline (yes, I know he gets that from ME), his unibrow, his ears and his awkwardness as a whole. He is 13 1/2 and this is when most boys are awkward looking.... But as his body changes he has started to break out on his forehead.

This morning I was using a cream on his little face to clear up his breakouts and I was thinking to myself, is this MY vanity issue here? Does he even CARE? I am so overly protective of him in terms of things that might get him picked on in school like his clothes, shoes, etc. He could care less if he wears $5.00 payless sneakers or the Nike’s we make sure he has. He does not need name brand anything – it is meaningless to him, but we always make sure he looks his best because he has enough going against him in life being on the spectrum and having such severe ADHD and of course being an adolescent which has it’s own levels of trauma.

My point here is I was having a moment of feeling like I am projecting my own insecurities onto this kid who really when it comes down to it cares only about a few things….movies, YouTube, his IPad and his favorite TV shows. Then, as I was applying the ointment he looked up at me, grabbed my cheeks and said "Mom, I love you for making my pimples go away but maybe you should buy Proactive instead, it worked for Katy Perry”.

I have his back, vanity may play a role but if I can fix one thing to eliminate him from getting picked on I will do it.