Praise, Punish and Repeat.

Jake just cannot seem to help himself.

If he is having a day where his behavior has not caused anyone around them a nervous breakdown we call it a success. We tend to shower him with the type of praise typically reserved for an olympic gold medalist. We use words like Proud, Happy and Thank you.

Then without fail and without missing a beat he will do SOMETHING to counteract the positive affirmations he is being showered with. It's as if he just cannot handle NOT being in the doghouse.

He is a tattle tale but 90% of the time he is telling on himeself.

The other 10% he is tattling on his brother...or on me.

He will put on ON DEMAND and select a show that he KNOWS he is not permitted to watch (typically anything that Seth McFarlane has created) and  then he will bellow from the next room "Mom, what am I watching"?? He calls me every day when he gets home from school to check in and he says "Mom, am I in big trouble"? He rummages through my makeup, jewelry or hair products and comes to me saying "Mom, what was I just doing in your room with your girl stuff". He will draw a picture and beckon from the kitchen "Mom, can I write the word PENIS all over this paper and hang it on the fridge?"

Sometimes he even decides his OWN punishment......"Mom I made a bad choice,

so I am grounded for a  whole week".   

He has an obsession with the bedrooms of his siblings. FINALLY we have gotten wise to him and begun locking those doors. A few weeks back, Christopher left the house and did not lock his bedroom door....Jake's nosey ass sashayed in and took Chris's collection of Simpsons DVD's. It was going to be  few days until Chris returned so I told Jake he could watch them as long as he was careful with them AND that he put them back in his brothers room before he got home. Oh and I also told him NOT to mention it to Chris. (and the award for Mother of the year goes to.....) Cut to the day Chris comes back home. Jake greets him at the front door chomping at the bit and the following ensued.

Jacob - "Chris was I in your room this week?" 

Chris - "You better not have been"

Jake - "I was but it's your fault cause you didn't lock your door"

Chris - "THAT is not a good reason Jake"
Jake - "what was I doing in there  do you think?"

Chris - "touching my movies"

Jake - "is it ok for me to do that"?

Chris - "NO"! "I have told you a 100 times to stay out of my room and not to touch my stuff"   

Jake - "Well, it's Mommys fault then. She said I could watch your dvd's if

I put them back and didn't tell you"

Chris - (burning a hole through the back of my skull with his look of disgust and anger)

 "UGH, WHATEVER"

Me - "I don't know if I should compliment you for being honest

with your brother or ground you for throwing me under the bus"

Jake - "That's just how I roll mom".



Jake, incognito after getting in trouble one Saturday morning. He was told to stay
 on the couch and not move until I decided what his punishment would be.

By his estimation, if he is in Camo jammies, sunglasses and a hat he can
"get off the couch and wander the house without being detected"

My boy is a GENIUS.